Gender Confusion
Whilst having dinner with friends the other night (one of which was pregnant) the discussion moved into the new role of women and men. My friend stated that everything that is wrong today is because women have left the ‘hearth’. After my initial and (internally violent) feminist reaction had passed I thought about what she said. I hate to admit but I think she may be right (eeek).
Ok I would never give up my independence, ambition, career or – well anything really, I’m rather selfish like that but I do understand her point. Take a typical day in my life. I wake up early, go to gym, rush home, meditate for 15min, shower, check my email while I have breakfast then rush to the office. I get home at about 6ish, spend some time playing with my dogs, have a cup of tea and unless I’m seeing friends I switch my computer on and carry on working to about 10ish… unless I have a deadline which pushes it out a bit later.
The weekend comes and I have to cycle, socialize, catch up on sleep and read (and read some more).
Sounds pretty rushed and it is but I’m content. I know who I am, where I’m going and everything in between… ok most days.
If I lived alone this would be no problem. Living with a partner however brings some difficulties;
“There’s no food”
“Then go shopping”
“I work I don’t have time”
“Um… so do I and I have less time than you do”
Result: We live on Protein Shakes – good for the figure, probably not good long term
“I’ve had a seriously bad day I need to talk”
“I had a worse day I need to talk”
“What about me?”
“What about ME?”
Result: Peace is fleeting and stress is a constant
But if the traditional roles of men and women were in place the above and so much more wouldn’t happen. The home would be taken care of, the office would be taken care of. The stress of one person is not the identical stress of the other and so there is a better coping mechanism in place.
Ok enough of the merits, lets be realistic
What women would be satisfied asking her husband for ‘pocket money’ when she can earn her own and buy better things just because? What women wants to die of boredom at home when there is a rich and enticing world out there that offers anything she can imagine?
I suppose my personal identity is highly dependent on my achievements so personally speaking I would feel ‘less’ than my husband if I didn’t experience or acheive as much. And sooner or later that husband would think the same, which was the very reason the feminist revolution began in the first place.
If men are out there oggling women in freedom while their female partners are sweating in the kitchen then by god I want to be right there oggling the intern while my fridge sits empty!
I suppose that is what living in a free society means, we are far from creating a new balance of the genders but I believe in the bottom of my red stiletto shoes that we cannot regress into the drastically unbalanced way it was before.
BUT… having said all this, I don’t have kids. If I were to I will probably be the first to take off a year or two, make leisurely meals that I’ll proudly display to my husband. Wake up late and sleep in peace because the only stress I have is… what should we have for dinner tomorrow night?
