But the more I think of living in a first world country, the more I think of the glorious day when I phone to query an electricity bill and someone answers the phone, or I walk down the street without feeling a constant threat to my safety… the more I think about the increased quality of life… the sadder I become.

The thought that keeps harrasing me is… what’s the point?

Where will the challenge be? What will motivate me? What will drive me to contribute to our world? Will living in a semi-nirvana remove from me that ingredient that makes me me? Yes I have considered the possibility that I have just become accustomed (ok maybe brain washed) to this way of life and so like a drug have come to rely on its effects. There is truth in that, but there is more to South Africa than the crime riddled, apathetic outlook that dismays so many of us.

We are highly resourceful, highly optimistic, highly creative… and highly open. Almost every foreigner to visit our land during the world cup commented on this, having travelled the world fairly extensively myself I know this to be true – South Africans are the friendliest and most welcoming nation I have come across. Because we have to live with such difficulties every day, we have found a way to balance the hardship with a deep and genuine love…

We love our land, we love our sport, we love our animals, we love our entrepreneurship, yes we love to complain but only as a means to find a new solution.

But it is the intangibles that is so hard to explain. Africa really does become a part of your soul, the music in our weather, the pride in our wildlife, the connection to the land itself. It’s hard to describe and is probably only felt by those who have lost it.

When I think of myself in Canada safe, comfortable and rested it scares me more than attracts me. The idea that I could eventually find fashion a stimulating conversation makes me want to run to Hilbrow and make friends with a crack dealer. I suppose that is what Africa gives you – realness. You have to be real when faced with the poverty and cruelty that is a daily occurrence.

At the moment I am swelling with pride, South Africa pulled off an awesome world cup and I know we touched the minds and hearts of everyone who visited (ok maybe not the French). Most of our visitors will return to a country where things most likely work, where life is fairly predictable and where they feel most at home. We will continue to push our boundaries, to develop our mixed culture, our self belief and our nation.

Africa is my home, she may wear a harsh face but her beauty is all around us and within us…

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We go through life believing that other people see life as we do, think, act, feel as we do. And the truth is that we don’t, not even close.

It will be a great tool in terms of relationship management both at home and at work, but apart from these practical benefits I’ve gained, I’m beginning to loose hope in humanities eventual enlightenment. Not only do we plow through racial, cultural and religious differences, which we haven’t yet managed to get right, now there is an entire new layer that must be navigated as well.

Imagine that I believed the sky was green, and you believed it was purple. 2 totally different realities but both equally correct – and there are nine of them! No wonder parents get it so wrong, no wonder lovers fight as they do – where’s the bloody handbook!

If nothing else I have gained a new healthy respect for the term ‘diversity’. Quantum theory of parallel universes isn’t so out there, it’s right here on Planet Earth. Billions of people communicating and living with one another and all separated into 9 distinct groups wondering “what the hell is everyone else on about?”

I strongly suggest you read up about the Enneagram… lots to ponder

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Ok I would never give up my independence, ambition, career or – well anything really, I’m rather selfish like that but I do understand her point. Take a typical day in my life. I wake up early, go to gym, rush home, meditate for 15min, shower, check my email while I have breakfast then rush to the office. I get home at about 6ish, spend some time playing with my dogs, have a cup of tea and unless I’m seeing friends I switch my computer on and carry on working to about 10ish… unless I have a deadline which pushes it out a bit later.

The weekend comes and I have to cycle, socialize, catch up on sleep and read (and read some more).

Sounds pretty rushed and it is but I’m content. I know who I am, where I’m going and everything in between… ok most days.

If I lived alone this would be no problem. Living with a partner however brings some difficulties;

“There’s no food”

“Then go shopping”

“I work I don’t have time”

“Um… so do I and I have less time than you do”

Result: We live on Protein Shakes – good for the figure, probably not good long term

“I’ve had a seriously bad day I need to talk”

“I had a worse day I need to talk”

“What about me?”

“What about ME?”

Result: Peace is fleeting and stress is a constant

But if the traditional roles of men and women were in place the above and so much more wouldn’t happen. The home would be taken care of, the office would be taken care of. The stress of one person is not the identical stress of the other and so there is a better coping mechanism in place.

Ok enough of the merits, lets be realistic

What women would be satisfied asking her husband for ‘pocket money’ when she can earn her own and buy better things just because?  What women wants to die of boredom at home when there is a rich and enticing world out there that offers anything she can imagine?

I suppose my personal identity is highly dependent on my achievements so personally speaking I would feel ‘less’ than my husband if I didn’t experience or acheive as much. And sooner or later that husband would think the same, which was the very reason the feminist revolution began in the first place.

If men are out there oggling women in freedom while their female partners are sweating in the kitchen then by god I want to be right there oggling the intern while my fridge sits empty!

I suppose that is what living in a free society means, we are far from creating a new balance of the genders but I believe in the bottom of my red stiletto shoes that we cannot regress into the drastically unbalanced way it was before.

BUT… having said all this, I don’t have kids. If I were to I will probably be the first to take off a year or two, make leisurely meals that I’ll proudly display to my husband. Wake up late and sleep in peace because the only stress I have is… what should we have for dinner tomorrow night?

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Here I am telling my bladder to hurry the f*** up so I can get back to work …what?

Since when does modern day living no longer allow 2 short minutes to comfortably relax whilst visiting the loo? Ok maybe I’m alone in this mildly panicked state but seriously. When I am not speeding up an unspeedable process I take my phone with me so I can beat it at backgammon or try the new app I downloaded. And if by horror I left my phone behind then there’s always the good old magazine – anything to keep your mind busy and working.

Of course this has adverse affects on my highly managed diary. If perchance I happen to get into a game of backgammon this lasts longer than the required time and so I must of course finish the game, which means I am spending yet more time away from work.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this… loosing the ability to smell the roses? Too much on one’s plate? There are a few analogies I could run with but I suspect they won’t be in my favour.

Maybe imagining everyone picturing me on the loo will cure me of this ailment… stay tuned for my new one (the fear of being watched on the toilet)

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And so with reluctance I went back to a job that actually paid me money instead of me paying for the luxury of working there – just a 3 month contract to top up the coffers and rest my frazzled brain. I went back to my roots and became a Marketing Consultant for a luxury 5 star hotel.

Enter the restaurant: free food, daily buffet’s, unlimited menu, non-existent will power.

Now I must explain my admittedly strict attitude towards food – I am a vegetarian, I eat 5 small meals a day, carbohydrates are devil food and anything with a hint of flavour is off the menu. Then I must explain my legendary self-control, I call it such because for something to become legendary it must also be history i.e. in the past.

It is enormously difficult to maintain any kind of discipline when the most delicious food is literally on tap, when you are surrounded by other guests who are eating their cheat meal – yes I try and blend in and pretend I too am a guest enjoying my meal out. The sad truth is that I maintain this ruse daily. I haven’t weighed myself in years, I now have a scale positioned in my office so I may punish my naughty behavior as often as possible.

Clearly something had to be done and true to style I found a solution… (drum rolls)

Morbid Monday: It is ok to eat a large breakfast and dessert at lunch because lets face it Monday sucks and I need the pick-me-up

Work Tuesday: This is a good day for me as I am back into the swing of things, regretting the previous week’s indulgence and so am able to proudly decline any nefarious offers

Guilt-free Wednesday: It is now the middle of the week and so dessert is allowed without any guilt attached

Guilty Thursday: Having fondly remembered the taste of dessert yesterday it is almost impossible to say no to dessert today. I will happily feel guilty about this

Fat Friday: The calories from Monday are starting to show and so the thinking goes something like this… “well if I ate badly the whole week I might as well not worry about today, and it is Friday”

after all… there’s always next week

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